8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
