Joe is yelling at the trees again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
