ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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