we have officially lost it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He has the fingertips of a God
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