Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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