I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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