shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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