It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
