I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
