It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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