What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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