Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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