Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
