Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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