Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
