just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
