Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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