Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
