yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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