I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
