so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
