only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
