capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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