I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize