Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I deserve this hangover.
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