remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
