So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
