Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
