We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
