Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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