Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
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Mom said you looked used
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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