I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
