He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
