But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
