Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
