ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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