We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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