No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am one with the molecules
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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