I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
