You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
