Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
