Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize