My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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