I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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