ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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