I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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