hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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