My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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