If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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