I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
