i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
