I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize