i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
