can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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