i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize