There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
