there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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