You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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