i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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